Feb 20, 2012

Posted by in Humour, Political comment, Political satire, Queensland political comment, Social comment | 0 Comments

Not since the bombing of Darwin . . .

Don’t worry about stopping the boats; turn back the planes!

Mad Hatter says his KAP-gun party – The Redneck Rifles – have their sights trained on a new breed of infiltrators. These skilled subversives are not stealthily storming the barricades like the good foot-sloggers of yesteryear. No, these are modern-day guerrillas employing contemporary assault tactics.

Just like airborne commandos they get flown to their target but they no longer have to parachuite to ground, instead their pay-masters charter massive jets and land them safely and pleasantly into the territory they are fighting to claim: in this skirmish , the vast coal and gas resource basins of inland Queensland.

Still, we can all sleep soundly because The Redneck Rifles reckon they are ready to repel this invasion force.

The KAP-guns are going to mandate an almost Australian-only workforce to deliver Queensland’s extractive resources boom. A token 5% of workers can come in from ‘outside’ but the rest would be true blue locals. The Redneck Rifles won’t let them foreigners sully our soil. Talk about ethnic cleansing!

And, as is so often the case, an economic rationale is supposed to underpin  this xenophobia.

The Mad Hatter tells us: “If the wages go overseas, and the profits go overseas, what is left in Queensland? Nothing but a great big hole in the ground.”

Maybe the Tea Party will tell Mad Hatter there will be no holes in the ground without the capital and labour able to exploit the resources buried beneath. No hole, no wealth.

Ah, but practical realities have never been grist for the Mad Hatter’s mill. Hence his delusion that his posse will rope-in well over a score of seats in the Queensland election – despite polls showing notional support for the KAP-guns at a mere 4.8%.

Yet poor polls are an irrelevance to Mad Hatter who claims Pauline Hanson had a similar level of support in her initial electoral cycle but came home with 23% and 21 seats. Besides, Mad Hatter says the only poll that counts is the response he personally gets wherever he goes; and he loves it!

What does he not yet understand about how raucous laughter from those he talks to is more likely appreciation of his entertainment value and not an endorsement of his bizarre off-the-cuff policy pronouncements?

As Mad Hatter presciently predicts: climbing into a bag of black mulga snakes will get you bitten. The bite from a Redneck Rifles’ parliamentary presence could make snake-bite seem like an infinitely preferable alternative.

There are many in other parts of Australia who will laugh at Mad Hatter’s antics but bear in mind that his delusions of grandeur are not confined to the Sunshine State. He honestly believes the whole nation needs him.

Truly, not since the bombing of Darwin has Australia faced such a threat.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


+ 1 = five

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>