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One Husband's Humiliation

 
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One Husband's HumiliationLosing my job devastated me. All my life I'd learned that the man must support his family. Any man who can't be the breadwinner is not a man; he's a loser - beneath contempt. Being a stock broker only made this worse. I was used to pushing around lots of money, of being in total control over people's lives. Now I'd lost control of my own. I could push anyone around: a multi-national company, a millionaire client, my wife. For weeks, I woke up every morning wishing I could just crawl into a hole and die. I really hated myself. Even though my wife Stephie tried to help, she only made my feelings worse. Every time I saw Stephie, I saw my failure reflected in her soft eyes. I wanted to run, to scream. . . to cry. I hadn't cried since I was a damn k**! Stephie tried to help, but her efforts only made things worse. The first week she left me to my shame. The second week she tried to cheer me up, but she just couldn't understand what I was going through. She'd say: "That's ok honey, I'll earn enough for both of us." "Just relax dear, I'll support us." and so on. She just couldn't understand that I wasn't worried about money, I had plenty of money in the bank. I needed my job to prove that I was the man. Her words cut into me like a rusty dagger. For weeks she fired off these encouragements at me in rapid succession. The humiliation stung so much that my self-respect began to die. I became quiet and passive. All my sulking and passivity slowly led me to a state where I began to do what Stephie said without question. I no longer believed I had the right to speak my mind or to demand anything of my own. This was a total turn around from the way our marriage had been. In the past I was clearly in charge. This felt like Stephie'd made me submissive to her. Imagine that, I felt powerless against my little wife. (Actually, at 5' 5" she's not much smaller than my 5' 6
09-06-2021, at 08:42 PM
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